four times dan made jepha happy (the used, jepha/dan).
Title: Four times Dan made Jepha happy.
Author: Jess (swear_jar).
Warning: Kinky bits.
Notes: Unlocked on request, originally commentfic for yan_tan_tether :D. Sorry if you've seen this twice.

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1.

Jepha wakes up when his alarm blares, grits his teeth, every little beep stabbing him in the brain like an angry gnome, the angry gnome of hangovers. He slaps at the clock so hard it falls off the mattress and onto the floor with a thump. He grinds his teeth harder.

Drinking the night before a midday practice: bad idea. Dan’s bad idea.

Jepha hates life.

There's a knock at the door.

"Let me fucking DIE, you beer providing HARPY," Jepha yells and stuffs a pillow over his head.

The bed dips.

"I brought you tea," Dan says.

Jepha shoves the pillow down enough that he can see. Dan looks half-dead, bags under his eyes and messy hair, but he also looks happy, and he's holding a mug that's visibly steaming.

Jepha cannot stay mad in the face of tea.

2.

"Happy birthday," Dan says, and holds out a box.

Jepha takes it. It's wrapped in Carebears wrapping paper. Just the image of Dan going and buying that wrapping paper is enough for Jepha to start grinning.

He rips a Grumpy Bear and a Cheer Bear in half as he opens it, scrabbles at the nondescript box inside, getting his blunt nails under the tape.

Inside there's what looks like a shiny dog collar and a matching bracelet. Jepha raises his eyebrows.

"That one's yours," Dan says, and prods his finger at a faux diamond on the big one. "And that's for Zelda. You match."

Jepha laughs and laughs and calls Zelda. They model for Kyte. He can’t stop grinning.

3.

Dan ashes on his leg accidentally. He twitches his thigh at the tiny bright spark of pain, gone in milliseconds. Dan smiles down above him. Jepha grins back quickly, then closes his eyes and wills his dick to shut the fuck up. He wants to sleep. Sleep good. Sleeping off a tipsy head full of beer very good. Accidental boners bad. Especially given he's wearing his speedo. Accidental boners in a speedo very bad.

He's actually drifting off, sprawled out on the pool deck, when he feels another bright quick spark of pain on his leg, and he slaps his hand at his thigh because for a second he thinks it's a mosquito or something?

But when he opens his eyes, Dan is there, plastic chair from the outdoor setting pulled up to Jepha’s side, looking about as drunk as Jepha feels, eyelids drooping as he just watches his cigarette burn down, held a little above Jepha's thigh.

Just watching.

Jepha hisses a breath that's nothing to do with the pain, long since gone, barely even stung in the first place.

"Hey," Jepha says. Dan's cigarette drips ash at the same time his limp hair drips water onto Jepha's stomach. His muscles twitch without his permission.

"Hey," Dan says. The cigarette dips closer to Jepha's thigh, just a bit below his squirrel tattoo.

"So," Jepha says, and hopes hopes hopes Dan won't freak out, hopes hopes hopes he's reading this right, drunk logic and napping in the sun or not, "so." Jepha says. "You need an ashtray?"

"Heh," Dan laugh-grunts and Jepha’s heart beats a little faster. He drops off his chair with a thud, kneeling beside Jepha and taking a drag of his smoke, glowing cherry very bright, right above Jepha's face. Then Dan's lips are on his, and he's breathing in Dan's smoke, Dan's chest pressed against his, face angles so their lips meet softly and Jepha gasps out a fuuuuuuuck when he feels the cigarette make contact with his thigh, it comes out smokey and breathless, right into Dan’s mouth.

Dan smiles against his lips and twists his hand, the pain dulling to a throbbing burn. Jepha can't stop his hips bucking up into air.

4.

They're playing I Never.

"I never... fucked someone in the ass," Dan says. Drinks.

Bert drinks.

Quinn drinks.

Jepha drinks.

"Motherfuckers," Quinn laughs, and high fives Jepha.

"THE USED LOVE ANAL," Bert yell at the top of his lungs-- which is loud enough Jepha's pretty sure he hears a few scared birds scatter from the trees around the yard—then giggles loudly.

"Jeph, it's your go, Jeph Jepha Jephareeeee-ma-dee," Dan's tapping out a rhythm on Jepha's shoulder.

"Um, okay, okay, I never... got a tattoo I regret." Jepha drinks.

Dan drinks.

Bert and Quinn don't.

"Regret's the wrong word," Bert says, flipped suddenly opposite to his manic yelling. His voice is rough with the way too many cigarettes he's smoked tonight, with too many hits of their pipe.

"Yeah, it's more like-- it's like, I'm not there anymore, maybe, but I don't regret them, they're just. Me then. There, you know?" Quinn says and Bert nods his head, tilts to the side and smiles at Quinn, completely understanding.

"I seriously regret the edge tats," Dan says simply.

"You were there though," Quinn insists, "that shit was important to you then-- you didn't regret it then."

Dan hums quietly. "I know what you mean," he says.

"I never... had to lie to a hospital about why I was there." Bert says. Drinks.

Jepha knows Bert's lied way more than once about dare induced injuries, drug related fuck ups. Quinn drinks. Same deal. Dan drinks. Jepha raises his beer to his lips and hopes no one's going to ask.

"What about?" Dan says, eyebrows up, looking interested.

"Autoeroticasphyxiation," Jepha mumbles into his beer.

Quinn and Bert lose it, Bert smacks the table a few times and yells, "oh, shit, I remember that!"

"Autoerotic asphyxiation?" Dan's eyebrows disappear into his fringe of whispy hair and he reaches out and runs his finger under Jepha's chin. Goosebumps break out over Jepha's arms and down his back.

"Uh," Jepha says, intelligently. Smooth. "Just. No. Well. Kind of-- the lesson is: never do that shit drunk. With a studded belt. That could get caught. On itself. It's fucking worse than drunk driving," Jepha smiles and holds very very still, Dan's fingers still on his throat. He feels his Adam's apple bob past the soft pressure of Dan’s fingertips as he speaks.

Bert and Quinn laugh again and Dan's hand falls away.

Later, they're on their way inside and Jepha's drunk enough to stumble slip on the uneven paving stones. Dan grabs him around the waist and half carries him inside. They stop on the doorstep and Jepha's warm and limp and happy leaning into Dan's side.

"Hey, so," Dan says, and he pushes Jepha away from him a bit, Jepha's about to protest, but Dan's hand is on his throat again-- "so, any time you need a designated driver for that shit." Dan says, voice casual and goofy, grinning like it's no big deal.

Jepha smiles and says, “yeah?”